1/6/05

No entry since last July...how remiss have I been, but then this really is for me, isn't it?
I have been busy, yet was I living my own life? I am not sure. I don't think I have. The melancholy that sets in tell me I am once again living for the sake of living...Working for the sake of working.
I should be happy. I have so much.
Am I here because I desire it or because there was very little else I could do? The safe possible solution...

I wish I could say yes, I am here because I wish it. This is what my life should be. Yet I cannot say that. I don't think I was meant to be this.